When I saw my Father a couple of weeks ago, he graciously inquired about my old friends from high school, wondering whether I kept in touch with them and what they were doing now. I had the same four friends all throughout high school, and my parents love to hear about them and all their accomplishments. I believe it gives them a sense of pride, that their daughter was at least FRIENDS with people that went on to achieve greatness in their lives. It somehow makes up for the fact that I didn’t.
Before I began my career as a Butt Wiper, Referee, and Housewife extraordinaire I lived in a suburb of a mid-sized Midwestern city, known mostly for its extremely high murder rate, racial segregation, and damn good barbecue. And(forgive the blatant borrowing of a Star Wars phrase) if there was a bright center to this city, then my suburb was the farthest from that center. It was small, economically depressed, and about as white trash as they come. My high school was small as well, only about 900 students. So at least the populous had that going for them, the fact that they weren’t breeding out of control the way they do here in the Beehive State. There were a few different social groups in my high school, you know your standard Rockers, Jocks, Cheerleaders(a.k.a the Clones), more Rockers, Drama kids, a few more Rockers, and Nerds. Now I realize this might surprise you people but I was solidly in the Nerd group.
My four friends and I were affectionately called the Nerd Herd. And when I say ‘affectionately’ I really mean with all malice and hate that can be mustered by a bunch of angsty and ignorant teenagers, which we all know is A LOT. This meant that while our classmates were getting drunk, having orgies, and staying out all night, my friends and I were busy planning our annual picnic where we dressed up like the Amish. We were watching Anne of Green Gables for the hundredth time. We were making up esoteric catch phrases like ‘Do nuns have ears?’ and writing it all over our three ring binders. The most anti-social behavior we ever exhibited was our torture of the Catholic priest that lived down the street from Meg, in the form of doorbell ditching and honking while driving past his rectory. We felt ourselves truly wild and reckless in these actions. It’s really funny and pathetic at the same time.
We were all very different, the five of us. Our collective religious affiliations sounded like a bad joke as we were a Catholic, a Mormon, two Methodists, and a Jew. We didn’t any of us listen to the same music or dress the same. We were really just bound together by our nerdishness alone. And this is the kicker people, I was NOT really a nerd at all! I just pretended to be one very well, and I suppose they allowed me into their culture because of my good acting skills. They each graduated in the top 10, where I didn’t even make the top 10%. Two of them, Meg and Jo, went on to become doctors, with Meg marring a doctor as well. Amy began medical school, and decided it wasn’t for her, so completed her degree in Early Childhood Education, and her husband is a doctor too. Beth has an MBA. Even that bitch that sometimes hung out with us, who always tried to copy our work, and barely beat out Meg for valedictorian, even she is now a veterinarian. I dropped out of college after 2 1/2 years, and I’m married to a college dropout as well.
I guess my point in telling this tale is that sometimes, in my dark moments, I wonder if I couldn’t have done more, tried harder, and made something of myself. I realize that people say that motherhood is the most important job there is, but sometimes I wonder. Honestly, I love my job, and its really the only job I ever wanted, but its so often taken for granted, over looked, and thankless. I mean, Sunny actually got mad at me over something silly the other day and wrote a note that said “My Mom is a big, fat, dumb, meanie, loser.” Its times like those that I really question whether I should have become a doctor. If I had then the nanny could be the ‘big, fat, dumb, meanie, loser’ while I was gone to work.
I know what you mean, I hung out with the nerds, but I think I was in the bottom end of my class when I graduated. I call it “lack of motivation.” ^_^ I love your blog.
I was really moved by this, Danica — all I can say is keep writing. Not to get all mystical on you but maybe everything has led you to this.
Ever hear of the phrase, “It’s lonely at the top?” While your suspiciously ambitious friends were busy making coin, you were busy making the world a better place – by keeping more of you in it. My friend recently decided to have a baby. In Hollywood. I was happy for him, but didn’t really understand what would motivate someone with such an unorthodox lifestyle to settle down and have a child. His response was, “Do you vote? Do you realize how many backward, uber Christian right wing idiots are out there making babies right now? If the cool people like us don’t start soon we’re going to be outnumbered.” Thank God for people like you, dear Danica! And the wonderful children who will carry on your legacy of awesomeness. If I may put on my “modern day career woman” hat for a moment – it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. There are days I would give anything to come home to sticky handprints on the French doors and fried back patties on the trampoline. Your contribution is the gift that keeps on giving. On behalf of all lonely career women out there, I can honestly say that nothing I contribute to the world between the hours of 8 am and 5 pm each day will ever have as much of an impact on a better future for this planet than what you do every day. Love you and your kickass blog.