Badger: “I wish I was made out of Legos.”
Leo: “You know what? We were this close to being made out of Legos, but instead God made us out of skin.”
Feb 282006
Feb 242006
I am now proudly displaying my reverence for the Flying Spaghetti Monster while simultaneously causing my Mormon neighbors to scratch their heads in confusion. Mission accomplished.
Feb 232006
Two weeks ago I was laying in my bed watching the local evening news, taking in all the gruesome details of peoples lives gone wrong, as is my nightly ritual. Little did I know that one of the stories was about to hit very close to home. I wasn’t really prepared to have Bob Evans tell me, in his most horrified and shame-on-you voice, that my old friend and neighbor (who I wrote about here) had just had charges filed against her for felony forcible sexual abuse. She was a teacher at a local high school, and had been caught having an affair with one of her 16 year old students. She was fired from her job, and was now facing 1-15 years in prison. My mind went numb.
You see, when she lived by me, and we saw each other every day, I would have sworn on a stack of Holy Bibles a mile high that she was one of the most normal, average people I knew. I knew she had problems with her husband from time to time (who doesn’t?), and I knew she had lots of problems with her husbands family(nothing new!), and I knew at times she was unhappy in her life (who isn’t?), and that she struggled to parent two young children(hello? sound familiar to anyone?). What I don’t know is how she got to the point of feeling so helpless in her life that she made a choice that would absolutely force a change.
I believe that this is what happens to so many people. They feel so unhappy and powerless to change their world, that they make choices that are effectively like dropping a 10-kiloton atomic bomb in the middle of their life. I guess they do this in the hope that they can rise up out of that rubble, dust themselves off, and go on to find happiness somewhere else. After they get out of prison, or what ever.
And I guess I have been so shaken by this because I have been forced to wonder if this could have happened to me? I am so ashamed to admit this, but I have been totally guilty of being a passenger in about 95% of my life. And it’s possible I’ve heard the Enola Gay doing fly by’s over my house once or twice. It’s a scary thing. A big scary thing that I don’t have a lot of answers for. But I do know that I want to be a driver in my life. I don’t want the Manhattan Project cooking out in my garage to make my choices for me. I want to make my life happen, and not just let it happen to me. And I don’t ever want to end up on the 10 o’clock news.
This is the outfit Badger chose, all by himself, to wear yesterday
AND
this is the outfit he chose, again all by himself, to help Elliot install some coat hangers in our laundry room
You know you have had three kids when you sneeze and simultaneously lose complete control of your bladder, as I have just now experienced.
I just told you all I pissed myself this morning.
Merry Christmas Internet!
Feb 162006
Feb 142006
“I know what the word ‘projectile’ means, but I’m not telling!”
-my son Leo, through a closed bathroom door
“Did I just touch your weenie?”
“No.”
“Oh, gooood! Because that would have been shocking!”
-my daughter Sunny to her brother Badger while in the bathtub
The kids are off track. They have been for 3 weeks now. They go back to school Monday. I will then be able to breathe again. For your weekend viewing enjoyment I’m going to post two Disneyland pictures circa 2003.
A one year old Badger wearing the Mickey novelty gloves
Sunny and Leo hugging Olie and ZooeyFeb 082006
We went out to dinner last night. Now I realize people that not 5 posts ago I completely swore off going out to eat with my children, but there was beer involved and I am weak, and at least they had the decency to sit us very near the bathroom this time. The kids did become pretty restless as we adults were consuming our beer, and Sunny especially began to whine and ask when we could leave. I told her she just needed to be patient and wait for everyone to finish. Sunny, ever looking for the opportunity to be bribed, quickly asked:
“What will I get if I am quiet and patient?”
“You will be rewarded in heaven.” I said. You see I was not in the mood to spend $3.50 on the sucker that had caught her eye on the way in. So, yeah, I gave her a complete nonsense answer proving once again that I AM AN UNFIT PARENT.
Then Sunny,who is by far the sweetest and most sensitive of my children, squinted her eyes at me and said, “Stuuuuupid.”
She makes me so proud.
