Dirty Dishes

Sometime last week Leo and Badger were bored and looking for a way to be destructive. They each took two plastic cereal bowls out of the kitchen and taped them together with scotch tape, creating what you might call a poor mans ball. They then decided to color on them, drawing faces and hair transforming these globes into human heads. Leo briefly filled his with water to simulate blood and brains, but that plan was quickly vetoed by the clean up police…aka, me. But he made it clear to me that if his own beautiful blond bigger-than-average size head ever got removed in a tragic “head-offing accident”, that he wanted it replaced with the plastic bowl head he had just created. The kid seriously watches too much TV.

Badger named his bowl head Anakin (thanks Star Wars) and has been carrying it around with him everywhere. In the car, the store, to the park, and to bed. Anakin is his new best friend. Badger has always had a good crew of imaginary friends. Sometime during his second year of life Shawn, Jake, T-Bone, and Emily started coming to play every day. These guys don’t usually take form, the way Anakin has with his plastic and tape body, which makes them easy to step on and offend yet equally as easy to ignore. Frankly I really enjoy when Badgers friends are over playing because they are quiet and don’t eat all my snacks the way the friends with heartbeats do. Even though occasionally they persuade Badger to cause trouble, especially that Jake, he’s always telling Badger to dump out all his toys or eat candy for breakfast. But Anakin, being a polite plastic bowl head, is a welcome addition to the imaginary crew.

Last night I was sitting at the kitchen table helping Sunny finish up her three hour homework session, and the boys were running around playing swords and enjoying being out of the watchful eye of the clean up police. Suddenly Leo came running into the kitchen, holding a large plastic sword with plastic Anakin rolling at his feet, and Badger trailing closely behind. Leo raised his arm up back behind his head, and in one swift chopping motion he sliced little Anakin, causing the tape to detach and two separate little bowls to go rolling in opposite directions across the tile.

Badger then screamed a scream so loud that every small animal in a five mile radius instantly suffered brain damage. He then yelled “Leo, how could you? YOU JUST KILLED MY FRIEND!”

And Leo, who was very clearly sorry yet confused at the same time, tried to make things right by pointing out the obvious truth, ” It’s just an inanimate object, don’t you know?”

He didn’t know.