2007 February » Dirty Dishes

For the last few days I’ve been working on a little painting project in my basement, trying to cover up almost six years worth of nicks, scuffs, and pop bottle explosions with a fresh coat of semi-gloss beige. Because why should I try to clean the walls, when I can just cover them up? But really I’m just teasing myself there, because it is a fact that those walls were well beyond any cleaning of which humans are capable. Plus I love the smell of paint.

So yesterday, while Leo was home sick and laying on the couch watching cartoons, I went down to the basement to paint. I turned on the TV down there to keep me company. We have this like jumbo screen TV in our basement that sadly only ever gets used for playing Gamecube, but yesterday I turned on one of my favorite programs, The View, so I could hear Rosie and Joy talk over Elizabeth like she is not even in the room. Ahhh, never getting a word in edgewise brings back such warm fuzzy memories of my childhood. Thanks, Elizabeth. As soon as I turned it on I noticed that the colors were all messed up. Every ones faces were bright green, and the background was radiant blue. But because no one ever watches TV down there, and I was only having it on to listen to and not really watch, I didn’t bother trying to fix the color.

After a few minutes Leo wandered downstairs to see what I was up to, and he stared at the TV for a long time before he asked me this question:

“What are you watching Mom?”

“It’s called The View.”

“Their faces are all green.”

“Yeah, the color is messed up.”

Then he says in a deadly serious tone: “I think this must be a show where radioactive people get together to talk about their lives.”

Oh God, Leo. I can’t wait for the day that you are in charge of television programming, because it’s gonna be a hoot.

My kitty loves to watch the snow falling.

And Leo doesn’t love so much having croup for the second time this year. He does, however, love not having to go to school.

For my birthday, which comes every year just one measly day before the biggest holiday in all of consumer and Christendom, a friend of mine gave me a little desk calender. It is appropriately themed “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff”, because my friend was tired of me never knowing what the date or day was. I guess my every-day-is-a-holiday-when-you’re-unemployed attitude was wearing terribly thin. Also I think my friend was making a not so subtle allusion to my non-medicated neurotic behavior and the actual copious amounts of sweat I would routinely shed over very little things.

You see, non-medicated Danica lays awake at night for hours worrying about every minute detail in her life and the life of everyone she knows and loves. She spends days (and I mean DAYS) running every conversation she has had in the last month over in her head, analyzing every word she said and all the ways in which she sounded like an idiot. Non-medicated Danica’s eyes well up with tears several times a day because she believes the world is actually crashing in on her. It’s not pretty, and for much of last year I was that person. And for a long time I thought that person was ok, or I was trying really hard to make her O.K. because I didn’t want to talk to anyone about it. I didn’t want people to think that I was just some lonely, bored, unfulfilled housewife who needs an anti-depressant to choke down the bleakness of her world. Because that’s what I use alcohol for, people.

It finally became to much around the anniversary of my brothers death, and in December I got a new doctor. After discussing with her my personal and family history of depression, she suggested I go back on medication. I decided to give it a shot, and I’ve been very happy with the results.

My little desk calender has also helped, in its own small way, by giving me something to look forward to every day. It’s the kind where you rip off a new page every day revealing a different inspiring quote. On most days I find the messages thoughtful and encouraging, but today’s quote gave me pause.

It reads:

“Imagining yourself at your own funeral allows you to look back at your life while you still have the chance to make some important changes.”

And yes I am now medicated, but that? That right there is a visual I don’t really need.

My husband Chris and our friend Elliot are geeks. Nice, sweet, adorable geeks. I’m somewhat ashamed to admit this, but we actually met Elliot through some friends that Chris met playing Quake 2 on the Internet. True story. And they are all totally normal people. Well, as normal as we are, and maybe that’s not so normal. Anyway, the point is we are now friends with people we met on the Internet like 8 years ago. But now I realize that wasn’t my point at all, my point was that Elliot and Chris are geeks and I will start to make sense here sometime.

So for the last month or so they have been geeking out by playing Rainbow Six Vegas on Xbox Live all night 2 times a week. And here is where all my witty remarks and observations reach a complete stalemate, because I am totally lost in the gaming world and I have no idea what to say about it, other than it’s possibly the biggest time sink I’ve ever had the misfortune to encounter. Maybe even bigger than reality TV or People Magazine or the Interweb in general. Because of course none of the things I do are time wasters, only things others do when they should be TAKING OUT THE TRASH. But I’m not gonna get down on gaming (anymore than I just did) because for my guys it’s a nice entertaining outlet that they participate in moderately and not to excess as is the case with some people. And again I’m am off on a tangent and not following along with the original spirit of what I was intending to write. Sorry.

Some nights when Chris is playing, long after Sunny and Leo have gone to dreamland, Badger being stubbornly awake will climb up on his lap and play with him. As a result Badger has become very interested in all things military. This has sparked the recent purchase of lots of generic brand army guy action figures, tanks, and helicopters that Badger plays with constantly. Last night he brought them in to the kitchen and began giving us a bio of his crew.

To begin with, this is Nick:
Nick is the leader. He has lots of skills. And a cool hat.

This is Bob and George:

Bob was injured in a gun fight trying to retrieve some intel. George has a sweet PSG1 which scares the freaking heck out of people.

And finally, Badger explained, this guy’s name is Bitch:

The other guys call him Bitch because he doesn’t ever know where anything is. Chris mentioned that maybe he should be called Bitch as well, for that very same reason. I agreed.

Here is Nick and Bitch and the whole crew riding into the sunset and Badger is either on his way to becoming a career military man or a total gamer geek. I’m pulling for the latter as it seems to be less stressful on the family.

My good Internet friend Stardust has tagged me to list my five favorite quotes. She had the good sense to leave me a comment about it, knowing that even though I had read her post in which I was tagged, I had no idea she was talking about me. I am that oblivious. If it doesn’t have something to do with Pokemon, Spongebob, or Access Hollywood, I have obviously learned to filter it out. AS WELL I SHOULD!

Anyway, if you are one of those people who regularly reads this blog you know already that some of my favorite quotes come from my three beautifully funny children, but here are 5 other quotes I really like:

1. “The great religions are the ships, poets the life boats. Every sane person I know has jumped overboard. That is good for business, isn’t it Hafiz?”– Hafiz (from the Gift)

2. “I do like him. I’m sick of just liking people. I wish to God I could meet somebody I respect…”– J.D. Salinger (from Franny and Zooey)

3. “Making the decision to have a child-it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”– Elizabeth Stone

4. “If you are depressed, please know that you are not alone. Please get help. If you know someone who is depressed, please understand that they are in pain, and please help them get help. Most importantly, listen to music a little louder, dance a little crazier, sing out loud in the shower, honk your horn for no reason, give your dog an extra treat, call your mother and tell her you love her, hug your friends even if they aren’t the touchy-feely type, eat french fries once even though your diet tells you not to, walk around your house naked, and hold tight to your motherfucking family.”– Heather Armstrong

5. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.”– Lily Tomlin

“Leo, do you want to take these treats to pass out to your class?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“It’s against my personality.”

That’s right folks, we are suffering through our second round of stomach flu in about a month. It started on Sunday night with Badger throwing up in the car and then continuing to do so on throughout the night. Then spread to Sunny on Monday morning, and finally culminated in Leo chucking up purple and red Trix at 3:30 this morning two inches from where I was sleeping in my bed.

But I have to say I’m glad that we are all home and safe, when something this senseless has happened so close to home.

Dirty Dishes

Favorite quote of the Sick Day

More Snow, More Sick

S is for Swing

Inappropriately dressed for the weather

Call me crazy, but this just doesn’t make me feel better

G. I. Badger

Garden Hose

Tag, I’m It.

Favorite quote from Valentines Day

Knee deep in vomit and happy

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