So, I moved over here and have yet to really post anything of substance. It’s disappointing I know. But I didn’t want to jump into something lightly. For one thing my kids have found this blog. Which I have to say is awesome. They are my biggest fans I’m sure. They sit and read it over and over. And the laughter! They laugh so hard it’s enough to make me cry. It’s why I’m so grateful I’ve done this little project. It’s why you should have kids then write down everything they say. It will one day make them laugh, and that is enough. However it also brings a certain weight to my words. I want to say things the right way, or the rightest way I can, to do them justice and make the words live up to the people they are about. Because those people are the best people I have ever known. I might be a little biased, because I made those people, but you understand what I mean. Therefore I’ve been putting a lot of thought into this post, mulling it around, trying it on, feeling it out, and what have you.
The kids went back to school about two months ago. Badger and Sunny are doing well. Leo’s teacher is trying to kill me. She called me in for a conference with her four different times in six weeks. Four different times. I took treats into the class for Leo’s birthday and she made me go out into the hall to talk with her about how poorly he was doing. On his birthday. And what, in her opinion, is he doing wrong? He has trouble completing assignments. Or he completes them and doesn’t turn them in. He doesn’t pay attention to instructions. His handwriting is illegible. He thinks he is too smart and doesn’t have to work. He purposefully ignores her. That’s right. Leo’s teacher thinks he is out to get her. Does that sound healthy to you? Because it sounds fucking nuts to me.
And he is smart. In third grade he tested at an eighth grade reading level. And he is definitely eccentric. He uses big words a lot. He often says things like “we are working in unison” instead of ‘together’ or “no matter, I don’t want to cause a hubbub” or a million other funny things that make him sound like he’s a 65 year old society gentleman. He can be very serious, and feel the weight of the world on him. He also easily understands the subtleties of humor, and makes the funniest jokes. And he is responsible. He got a pet lizard for his birthday and takes excellent care of him, feeding him every night and making sure he has water. I don’t want to point fingers but Sunny had this hamster that she saved all her Christmas money to buy one year, and subsequently never looked at the thing. It was for all intents and purposes MY hamster. I fed it and cleaned it’s cage for two and a half years until it died a death of constipation, of which I’d rather not speak. This is how I expect a 10 year old to treat a small caged pet. But Leo is very conscientious. He worries about his lizard when he is away. He wants to grow old with the lizard. He loves this lizard. Does this sound like a boy who is out to get his teacher?
So after six weeks of struggle the teacher’s solution to helping Leo do better in school was to write me a daily note telling me how bad he did that day and everything he had done wrong. She felt this would motivate him to do better. It actually made him feel terrible about himself. On a daily basis.
My solution was to call his doctor. We were lucky and got in on a canceled appointment within four days of calling. The next appointment was in six weeks. I was going to have to ask to move him to another class or take him out of school if I couldn’t get him in for six more weeks. I couldn’t have his teacher continue to tear him down on a daily basis for six more weeks.
The doctor was very helpful. He offered a lot of solutions, one of which was to put Leo on a daily medication to help him concentrate on his work. And I was never going to do this. I was never going to be the parent that medicated their child. I didn’t believe it was the answer. But guess what? I read about the medicines and their effects. I know lots of people personally who are on these medicines, and I talked to them about their experiences. I decided to have Leo at least try them and see if it helped. Because who am I but a person who for years took a pill every day to help myself feel better. I didn’t believe in medicating depression before either. I was wrong.
He has been taking the medicine daily for the last two weeks and has had two weeks of good daily reports from his teacher. Not one complaint since. He completes his assignments and turns them in. His handwriting has improved greatly. He says he doesn’t feel different. He is still witty and eccentric and caring. He is still Leo.
Is this a long term solution? I don’t know. It’s working now though. And like the rest of life, we’ll just have to see how it goes.
this was our favorite beach on Maui
