This one LOVES me
This one HATES me
Jun 062007
This one LOVES me
This one HATES me
Jun 052007
For the last month or so I have been laying in bed every night, fighting to overcome all my imagined stress, and figure out a way to fall blissfully into the nothingness of sleep. I’ve come up with quite an awesome coping strategy, I lay there and write posts for this blog in my head. They are all funny and insightful and irreverent…all the things that have made me the famous blogger that I am. And every night as I finally drift off I promise myself to remember that post, and for THE LOVE of Peter, Paul and Mary, I will post it in the morning! (this is the part that is making you feel good. I am writing to you guys. A ton. Sweet Jesus, a ton.)
I think by now you get the part where, by the time the harsh light of the sun and the sound of the alarm comes my way I have completely forgotten the post I wrote in my head the night before. It’s gone, and I am back on planet Earth, where I have imagined that NOTHING IS GOING RIGHT FOR ME. And where I know how to be dramatic, for shits sake. I realize that the obvious solution to my forgetfulness is to have my laptop actually IN FRONT of me when I am writing. But that would just be too easy, wouldn’t it? And I’m hell bent on making life as hard as possible for myself. It’s my mission statement: Be miserable or die trying. And of course, never forget to be dramatic.
The kids are finishing school this week, and we are headed off on a sweet vacation south of the border. And this little vacation is causing me more stress and anxiety than I have had in ever so long. Vacation! I should be excited and relaxed and motherfucking stress free, at the prospect of vacation. I swear to Bob, I wish I had a new brain.
I kinda feel better now though, after writing this and actually typing it out and all. It feels good to get it out there, my craziness. I read somewhere that depressed people shouldn’t isolate themselves, because it only makes things worse. Sadly isolation is one of the things I know how to do very well. So thanks for being there for me readers, all 10 of you, even if it’s just passively ‘being there’. Thanks for being my support system when I actually take the time to put my fingers to the keyboard. Now, don’t y’all feel better?
May 232007
Sunny, Badger, and Friend found these instruments in the basement and formed an impromptu band. Please do not be confused, we have no musical ability and these are not our instruments. We are “storing” them for a family member. I don’t think this is the kind of “storage” they had in mind, but the kids were too damn adorable to stop. We were helpless against their cuteness! Plus they didn’t sound that bad. And we had been drinking.
May 172007
About a week ago Leo started complaining that his old shoes were too tight on his feet. Leo has short, wide feet a lot like Chris’ feet which strongly resemble those of Fred Flintstone. This means that Leo’s shoes always start to hurt him on the sides rather than the end when they become too small. It also makes the right kind of shoes somewhat hard to find. They have to be loose and stretchable and reasonably priced so I won’t lose my mind when they don’t fit again in a few months. Naturally, I heard “shoes too tight” and automatically thought: Target! and Shopping! I immediately ran out and found these super cute shoes:
To me they say: loose and easy to get on, yet hip and fun! And initially Leo felt the same. He wore them to school for a few days, then he came home complaining that a little girl in his class kept stepping on his feet because of these shoes. Being as wise in the ways of women as I am, I know that a little girl stepping on a little boy’s feet= love. However to Leo getting his feet stepped on = pain. Not so much different from grown up love Leo! Learn your lesson now. Surprisingly this lesson is lost on him though, and his solution is to never wear the shoes again.
While at Target I also found this really cute shoes for Sunny, even though she hadn’t asked for new shoes, I saw these and I thought: how punk rock in a cute and sassy way!
But Sunny was immediately skeptical, saying she wasn’t sure if it was OK to wear these kinds of shoes to school because she had never seen anyone else wearing them. I pointed out that Leo had worn this very kind of shoe to school without any repercussions, other than being stepped on. He was not sent to the Principal, or asked to not wear that kind of shoes for any reason. This made no difference to her because he is only in first grade, and she is in third, so maybe the rules are different? So now I am somewhat worried about the implications of having a child who will not do anything unless she has seen someone else do it first. But I suppose I am mostly worried because that behavior really mirrors the way I was as a child, only I had way less personality and spunk than Sunny has. I am hopeful she will get past the fear of being different or wrong. It’s a hard way to live, wanting to be right for everybody else and not thinking about what is right for you. It’s something I didn’t learn until I was like 30.
This morning when Sunny got ready for school she put on her clogs, similar to these ones of Badgers (only hers are pink):
and as she headed out the door she said: “I’ve seen lots of people wear these kind of shoes to school, so I know it’s alright.”
I know Sunny is strong, and will be a leader. I’m sure of it. Just not when it comes to shoes.
Excuses, excuses…I know. Lemme think of a good one here…..blargh! I got nothin! And that pretty much aptly describes the state of my lil brainsky lately…Nothin. No spark, no fire, no ideas. Nothin.
However, I will say that the weather in good ole SLC has been beautiful of late and I have been spending lots of time outside watching Tony take care of the lawn. Oh, and we pulled out this old dead tree in our back yard and planted a new one. The old one died a couple of years ago because at that time we didn’t really know that, guess what? Trees planted in the desert need to be watered! And watered a lot. So the poor thing shriveled up and died of thirst. But we won’t make that same mistake twice, no Sir! This new tree is getting all the water we’ve got, and if it dies I’m gonna know that Utah has beaten me, and beaten me good.
A week or so ago I came across this picture posted by Heather of a beautiful view of the Wasatch mountain range, similar to the view I get to see every day (I know, I’m lucky). Someone made the comment that it looked like us stupid Utahans had pulled out all the trees and replaced them with houses. That was like the funniest thing I’d ever read ( yes I’m easily amused). Because I moved here from Missouri, where there are A LOT of trees. Trees that just grow by themselves, can you believe it? And after I moved here, I kept telling Chris that this place sucked because NO TREES. And he kept saying “There are trees here silly!” But the thing is, are you listening stupid commenter that said we are pulling out trees?, THERE IS NOT ONE TREE IN ALL OF THIS VALLEY THAT WASN’T PLANTED AND EXCESSIVELY WATERED BY SOMEBODY. No one is randomly pulling out trees to build nice suburban houses and shopping malls. We are all fighting tooth and nail to keep these trees happy and alive. And these trees, every one I’ve ever seen here, they all look like they would really rather be living somewhere else. Sometimes I agree with them. But I have to say most of the time I’m glad that this place, where nature is rugged and beautiful and fragile all at the same time, this place is my home.
Leo: How much longer is George W. Asshole going to be our president?
Me: About two more years.
Sunny: Two more years of George W. Shithead Asshole?! Man I hate that guy!
Apr 112007
Did you know they filmed Footloose here? Yep it’s true. Right in the heart of Utah County. Claim to fame, people. It doesn’t get better.Apr 102007
We had a nice weekend, with just Badger home, even though he followed me around talking about video games at a gozillion miles an hour. And we missed Sunny and Leo tons. The days were so strangely…(I want to say quiet here but quiet isn’t right because it wasn’t quiet with all the Badger talking, it was noisier, so much noisier but with less fighting and friends over eating all my snacks)….empty (that’s the right word) without them.
It was great spending time with just Badger though, and I think that is important for him because being the youngest I think he feels ignored many times. So besides spending a lot of time bonding over video games with Chris this weekend, Badger also did this:
Went to Target to spend some allowance money and purchased the pin toy thingy.
Rode his bike around the back patio.
Stalked an enemy target.
Got a basket from the Easter Bunny, after which he exclaimed: “So Halloween and Easter are both about candy!” Yes Badger, the heathen Easter is exclusively about candy. Yay!
Sunday afternoon we drove down to Utah County to pick up Sunny and Leo. We were so happy to see them. So happy to have them back. I especially felt so happy that these amazing little people are a part of my family. And happy that, even though it is sometimes hard to live, life is its own reward.
Apr 042007
Today I’m busy trying to get Sunny and Leo ready to go out of town for Easter weekend. They will be spending the weekend with their grandparents and cousins in the sunny Southwest, while Chris, Badger, and I will be at home getting drunk. This is going to be a nice little trip for them, because they have been off-track for the last two weeks and have been using that time to tear up the house and beat each other senseless. So instead they will be able to swim in the pool, and play with cousins and of course get their yearly injection of Jesus. This injection means that Sunny will probably return home feeling guilty and Leo feeling annoyed. But hopefully, at least someday, they will know they really aren’t missing anything.
Mar 282007
So I’ve mentioned several times that I have been painting different rooms around my house over the last few weeks. It’s like a disease, this painting thing, and it’s now in my blood and I can’t stop but DEAR GOD! I want to stop. And the funny thing is I didn’t ever, I mean never ever, think I would be the person that paints there entire house with every room a different color.
Last weekend I was talking about the painting, because it is so obviously the only thing I have in my life, and Chris reminded me of something really funny. He asked me if I remembered the state of our first house when we bought it. Did I? Remember? That house? How could I not!
The first house we bought after we were married was 1,100 square feet of 1970′s glory packed in a rambler with lava rock decorating the outside. But really the outside was tame compared to what lay inside. For one thing, the house was inhabited by no less than 7, and sometimes even up to 9, overweight adults. In 1,100 square feet. Three bedrooms, two bathrooms. Nine people. Nine very big people. Apparently to spice things up, because all those people weren’t enough, they had painted every single room a different color. And every single room had a different color and style of carpet, including the kitchen and bathrooms. And to top that all off they had used the space under the back yard deck as a garbage dump. I know, I know, that has nothing to do with paint, but I believe it speaks to the level of taste and care these people took with their home.
The first thing we did when we got the keys, besides change the locks, was paint the whole house in the same neutral color. Then we ripped out all seven different colors of carpet and put down some nice neutral carpet and vinyl flooring. And finally we removed about 25 garbage bags worth of junk from under the deck. We spent the next four years in that house, making no end of fun of the previous owners and their tastelessness.
Do you see the irony people? I lived here, in our new house, four years before I became so bored of the neutral walls that I snapped. And so I’ve been painting. Each of the kids rooms different color. The bathrooms a different color. The kitchen, dining room, living room, basement, ALL IN THEIR OWN COLOR. My God, I have become those people! The ones I made fun of. The ones with no taste. That is now me. Please no one look under my deck. I’m afraid of what you’ll find.
