Sunny and her friend are playing with an old doll house. Being the little girls that they are, their world revolves around little furry creatures, so the tenants of this doll house are not a happy Mother, Father, and four small children with smiles permanently affixed to their plastic faces. No. Those figures have been tossed aside, and the house is owned by two small plastic dogs.

Sunny’s dog is a boy, and the friends dog is a girl. The friend is very anxious for the two dogs to be married and not living in plastic sin.

Sunny very wisely states: “Gosh NO! They are NOT married. They love each other and they just connect really well. But they aren’t married.”

 

Badger has just spent about an hour creating a small world out of cardboard and clay. He jumps up and down, like a jack rabbit on speed, and shouts for Leo to hurry over and bare witness to the awesomeness of his creation.

“See, this is the hot dog stand, and this is the tree, and these are the two moons in the sky! This is totally our island!”

Badger has pronounced the word ‘our’ like the letter R. This has obviously confused Leo, and he asks Badger to explain what an “R island” is exactly.

“You know, it’s yours and mine.”

“Oh, you mean OUR…you need to say it like ou-er. Ou-er.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

 

Chris stands in front of the fridge with the door wide open, desperately searching for a bottle of his One True Love: beer. Unable to find the desired object, he loudly proclaims:

“There is never any beer in this fridge, because someone drinks it too fast!”

Leo responds, completely deadpan with perfect timing:

“Ah, that would be you.”

 

“What if all there was to eat in the world was Toaster Waffles? Then every freezer would be full of Toaster Waffles, and every refrigerator would be full of butter. That would be awesome.”

–my son Badger

 

“Mom, I figured out the real reason why you are here: to wipe my butt and buy me toys. I love you.”

–my son Badger

 

“These Imperial Officers are looking up ‘Rebel Plans’ on the Wikipedia! OH NO!”

–my son Badger, while playing the video game Lego Star Wars 2

 

“Mom, did you know you are only as tall as a 12 year old? But you are really so much older.”

my son Badger

 

Leo: How much longer is George W. Asshole going to be our president?

Me: About two more years.

Sunny: Two more years of George W. Shithead Asshole?! Man I hate that guy!

 

“Man, I hate the cereal box people. They always make it look like you can get the toy inside the box when really it is a mail in offer. It’s such a scam. Just like church.”

-my son Leo

 

“Do you know what? When I take a shit it feels soooooo good. But can you check if my butt is schmeery?”

-my son Leo

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