“I am smarter than you, Mom.”
“Yes, Badger you are very smart.”
“But I AM SMARTER THAN YOU!”
“I love rock music. Rock music is the best. I want to listen to LOTS of rock music. Not hip hop. I can’t stand hip hop. I don’t even know how people can listen to hip hop. I think rock is the best.”
-my son Leo while playing a really mean air guitar
Feb 282007
For the last few days I’ve been working on a little painting project in my basement, trying to cover up almost six years worth of nicks, scuffs, and pop bottle explosions with a fresh coat of semi-gloss beige. Because why should I try to clean the walls, when I can just cover them up? But really I’m just teasing myself there, because it is a fact that those walls were well beyond any cleaning of which humans are capable. Plus I love the smell of paint.
So yesterday, while Leo was home sick and laying on the couch watching cartoons, I went down to the basement to paint. I turned on the TV down there to keep me company. We have this like jumbo screen TV in our basement that sadly only ever gets used for playing Gamecube, but yesterday I turned on one of my favorite programs, The View, so I could hear Rosie and Joy talk over Elizabeth like she is not even in the room. Ahhh, never getting a word in edgewise brings back such warm fuzzy memories of my childhood. Thanks, Elizabeth. As soon as I turned it on I noticed that the colors were all messed up. Every ones faces were bright green, and the background was radiant blue. But because no one ever watches TV down there, and I was only having it on to listen to and not really watch, I didn’t bother trying to fix the color.
After a few minutes Leo wandered downstairs to see what I was up to, and he stared at the TV for a long time before he asked me this question:
“What are you watching Mom?”
“It’s called The View.”
“Their faces are all green.”
“Yeah, the color is messed up.”
Then he says in a deadly serious tone: “I think this must be a show where radioactive people get together to talk about their lives.”
Oh God, Leo. I can’t wait for the day that you are in charge of television programming, because it’s gonna be a hoot.
Feb 162007
“Leo, do you want to take these treats to pass out to your class?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“It’s against my personality.”
Feb 072007
“When did you and dad get married?”
“In October of 1995.”
“And it takes nine months to have a baby…so when was I born?”
“In May of 1998, well past nine months Sunny.”
“Ok, I was just checking.”
Jan 172007
“You wanna hear my new motto? ‘Leo: Tastes just like chicken!’ “
–my son Leo
“Good night Leo, I love you!”
“Night Badger, I love you too.”
“Mom, don’tcha just LOVE Leo?”
“Yes, I really do.”
“Me too. Me too.”
Dec 052006
“Good morning Badger. How did you sleep?”
“I slept motherfucking good.”
Nov 172006
“Don’t you know that watching too much TV at bed time causes BRAIN LESIONS?”
-my son Leo
Nov 142006
“Mom, is Santa a real live person?”
“Yes.”
“No, I asked if he was REAL and ALIVE?”
“Well, what do you think Badger?”
“I think people just made him up.”
